Sage advice from an elderly gentleman perched atop a lonely mountain.

Hello friends! Today our question comes from Carrie Kingston of Port Angeles, Washington.

“Dear Banaba,” Carrie writes. “It seems like everything is a mess. Our leaders blatantly lie to us and nothing happens. Our corporations gouge us and nothing happens. Our environment is being destroyed around us and nothing happens. Everyone seems to hate everyone else and nothing happens. People are shooting each other and nothing happens. It’s a real mess! Will it ever get better?”

To my new friend Carrie, I ask, “Better than what?”

But of course, that is me making a small joke while I consider the many facets of your query.

There is some truth to my joke. To divine whether things are likely to get better, we have to have some level of understanding or agreement as to what “better” means. What is better for you may not be better for me or better for someone else and so on. In fact, it rarely is, and these fluid definitions may prove to be so disjointed that striving for each one’s “better” may just make things worse. At least over the short term.

So one, to be “better” we need a common and agreed upon standard of what better looks like and as such, it must be something we work toward collectively.

The next part of your question seems to deal with the consequences for those who appear to be doing the work of making things worse. Most of us are raised to believe in the concept of the right of common sense. This means that while people have the right to self-actualize, there are common rules and pathways that must be followed to achieve that actualization. And common sense dictates that if one was to circumvent those rules and pathways in an egregious manner, they will be corrected, reprimanded or in some other way, aptly punished.

As an example, if one desires money, the pathways and rules that guide that desire make it clear that in a civilized society one will work for the money they get or inherit it. To get it in any other way, like stealing it, breaks the code of conduct for our society and demands correction. If that correction or punishment is not realized, at least to our satisfaction, we who feel as if we live our lives within the set code of conduct basically feel like, as one of our friends said previously, “what the hell?” Why should we play by the rules when others don’t and get away with it?

So two, to be “better” we need to re-establish or re-enforce and agree to adhere to the basic code of conduct that guides our society.

Finally, the status of, or the quality of, our existence often hinges on the status of our mental state as we encounter the things the go awry in our day to day lives. The world is big and full of problems. Disease, pollution, corruption, hatred, mistrust, hunger, war and more are all the things that we must deal with and most of those run counter to our standard rules, pathways and general code of conduct. When we feel as though these things are allowed to continue or are being flamed by dissidents or made worse in general by people who don’t subscribe to the general code of conduct, we feel overwhelmed and despondent.

We cannot turn a blind eye to these problems by opting for an artificially sunny disposition, but we can be mindful and purposeful about how we manage our responses to the breaches of social conduct and the travesties we bare witness to.

So three, to be “better”, we must be able to have a mindset that is rationally optimistic and that guides us to seek solutions so that we are not actively part of the greater pool of problems.

Another question to consider, is are we actually in a worse situation today than we have ever been? In other words, are things really worse? Can they get better?

Historically, humankind has generated and endured travesty after travesty. Things that, to talk about them seem counter to the intent of all human existence and yet we repeat these atrocities over and over again as if the new reasons for doing them were better than the old reasons which, for their time made them unacceptable. Are our modern atrocities worse than our historical ones?

We also live in a world where we are constantly bombarded by messages which give us the latest facts as they happen. Where facts are not yet realized, speculation and hyperbole fill the gaps. This is because we demand access to information. We have become used to getting information as we want it. However, information is not generated as we want to consume it and we are apparently, not picky about the quality of the information as long as it keeps coming.

Again, applying some common sense to what we are hearing will help us maintain a better perspective, as will seeking all the facts on the issues that affect us most and, believe it or not, stepping away from the media entirely for a while.

Of course, these are simple thoughts that work to address what we see as a gigantic and unruly situation. Being human is difficult, but I often think we make it more difficult than it needs to be. The secret to our success, to making things better – is in no way a secret all. We know what to do. We probably also know how to do it. It seems more likely that we just don’t.

There are people out there who are trying and those are the stories we need to share.

Will things get better? Can things get better? Better than they have been? Can we be more than we are? Can we reach the aspirations of our potential?

That answer lies within us as individuals and as a collective species. I believe things can be better if we want them to be and are willing to do the work. We make it happen when we finally decide it needs to happen and I hope we do that before we can’t.

Peace to you  – Banaba

*Editor’s note:
To read other “Something to Ponder” entries, search for Banaba at the top of the page.

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Sage advice from an elderly gentleman perched atop a lonely mountain.

Hello friends! Today our question comes from Milo Krench of Garden City, Kansas.

“Hey Banaba,” Milo writes. “I don’t get a strong Christian vibe from you, so let me ask you, what would Jesus do?”

To my new friend Milo, I say simply, “I am not sure so I will ask him the next time I see him.”

But of course, that is me making a small joke for you.

Milo, you present an interesting question that requires a bit of interpretation on my part to get to what I think you might be looking for…or not.

It is possible that by referencing a “Christian vibe” you are looking for me to make some sort of declarative statement regarding the level of my association with Christianity.

Should I make such a statement, it is reasonable for me to guess that based on how you process my statement, you may make a determination, for yourself, about the value of my response, or the worthiness of my counsel here, depending on how much our philosophical paths align.

Another possibility is that you assume I have no real link to Christianity, so I would not be able to aptly consider how your interpretation of Jesus may react in any one of a number of dicey scenarios.

I can tell you that my life path has taught me that there is little value in making assumptions about others based on what we see, what we think we see, and how we interpret what we see when stacked against our individual belief systems.

Humans seek out commonalities. It is a survival instinct. There is safety in numbers. We look for like-minded people to enhance our tribe so that, at the very least, our common belief systems bind us together and make us stronger than we might be on our own. We have very little patience for those who don’t believe as we do or act as we think they should, even to the point where we feel they don’t belong in our tribe – philosophically of course.

In our case, between you and I, I move forward thinking that your question was an honest attempt to generate an interesting dialogue and not so much a “gotcha” question that seeks to identify me or what I do with some sort of religious or non-religious label and then to exalt or disparage me accordingly.

So, what would Jesus do?

Truthfully, I do not believe it matters.

The question itself became popular in the 1990s and flourished through the use of W.W.J.D. bracelets and associated merchandise as a way to remind people to check their morality and walk in the path of Jesus who is often defined in religion as the son of a particular God.

It is a physical reminder for the people who embrace the mindset that they can be their better self when working through the challenges of their daily lives. To some it is inspiring, to others, it is a crutch.

The fact of the matter is, one cannot really know Jesus or what he would actually do in any situation.

One can know of him. One can study the materials that explore the man he was supposed to be as he existed in his time. One can know the dogma that surrounds the essence of his teachings. One can assume to know and one can believe to know, in earnest, but that is really just a manifestation of one’s individual belief systems, biases, and their understanding of that source material. A lot of interpretation, edits, rewrites, reductions and such fed the evolution and development of the materials we access for religious clarity and guidance. That does not mean the interpretations are wrong, but it is certainly a factor to consider in how the material is absorbed and each interpretation alters the story.

People tend to function in the day-to-day based on the whole of their experiences. Negative experiences shift them one way. Positive experiences shift them another. Some days are more difficult than others and if a simple prompt such as asking what would Jesus do helps them be more successful in their journey, I am all for it.

Still, it seems there are people who are more interested in the brand than the morality itself. Are you a Christian? What kind? What denomination? What branch? If you’re not a Christian, what are you? Do you know God? Do you walk in the path of God? Are you moral? Are you penitent? Do you care for yourself and your fellow-man? The questions are limitless. And we ask them to find out who we should associate with and who we should avoid. Who will nurture us? Who will tempt us or lead us astray? Who do we invite into our tribe and who do we repel?

This is not to offend, but the teachings of Jesus are just not that complex. Be good. Be kind. Don’t do bad things. If you do bad things, make amends, learn from your experiences and go on. Try to be a good person.

I wonder how it is that with centuries of such devotion, such energy, and such emotion behind us that we still have yet to master these very simple lessons. People who say they walk in the path of Jesus are often least representative of what he taught or the example others hold him up to be.

To answer your question Milo, I do not know what Jesus would do.

If I could guess, if he were to show up today, I imagine that he would be less than pleased by what he would find here. With all of our technological advancements, we seem to have evolved very little. I imagine he would spend less time in super churches and giant cathedrals talking to televangelist and more time in hospitals, homeless shelters, and recovery centers talking to the downtrodden. I imagine he would be less about theory and more about action. I suppose he would have much to say about people who speak in his name, but who don’t live by the same values they espouse to others.

I wonder if anyone would recognize him at all, or appreciate the work he may do and the way he may do it.

I imagine he would like to see fewer and fewer people waste the energy on what it is to be him, or like him so that they might focus their energy on finding a special goodness within themselves and allowing that to flourish.

Peace to you  – Banaba

*Editor’s note:
To read other “Something to Ponder” entries, search for Banaba at the top of the page.

Copyright © 2018 – The JEFFWORKS

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Sage advice from an elderly gentleman perched atop a lonely mountain.

Hello friends! Today our question comes from Donnie Mershon of Beaufort, South Carolina.

“Dear Banaba,” Donnie writes. “I don’t think people like me. In fact, I think some people may hate me.”

To my new friend Donnie, I say simply, “After the overwhelming mountain of questions, I’m not sure I like you either!”

But that is me having a delicate joke at your expense. Apologies. Clearly, you asked no question at all, but I think I know what you may be looking for just the same.

Consider first that the human species is a complex and emotional animal. The simple determining factors of like and dislike are the root logic we use for virtually every decision we make.

Now consider that every person on the planet is wired with a unique mindset, a unique moral code, a unique capacity for understanding, learning, forgiveness, anger, mistrust and so on. And while clusters of us may have thoughts and feelings that are similar to other’s, what we bring to that commonality is less about how much we may be the same and more about what we need in our lives and what we are willing to do to get it so that we may better self-actualize. In other words, it is a reflection of how willing we are to reach out, tolerate, empathize, understand, forgive, give and more, according to what we need, to make our relationships work.

Clearly, not all of us are destined to get along, but not feeling liked, or feeling hated is a different dynamic than not getting along. Basically, humans have two emotional pathways that help guide our decisions and ultimately, our lives.

Our passive emotional pathway allows us to make effective like/dislike decisions with great efficiency and with little residual refection or consideration. Some refer to these as “no-brainers”. I dislike the cold, so I wear a coat. I like ice cream so I will eat it. I dislike dark alleyways because I feel they may be unsafe so I will avoid them. It is quite efficient until something disrupts our pathway and presents us with new factors to consider.

That is when our active emotional pathway kicks in. This allows us to further consider the circumstances we find ourselves in so that we might try and respond effectively, in our time and space at that moment, to resolve the conflict. It is an aggressive and reactive pathway which often creates new actions and counteractions that we must respond to that often fall well beyond the initial issue and often with assumed facts or notions of what we may believe to be true. I dislike the cold, so I wear a coat. But, my coat is not warm enough, so I need to buy a warmer coat. Even more so, I’m sick the cold and I should move to a warmer place. San Diego is warmer I bet. I should just move to San Diego. I’ll be happier there. And so on.

Despite our individuality and each person’s unique perspective. I like to think that we are all generally predisposed to liking something, in this case, people, over disliking it – or them. At a minimum, we should be able to ignore others without the least bit of disruption to our lives. We do this every day. If you do not know anyone in Billings, Montana, you are not likely to care much about them, even though they exist. I feel it is doubtful that you would hate them.

But, to not like, or to hate is an active, aggressive and emotional decision we make based on some level of bias that falls outside our level of tolerance or willingness to make the needed adjustments to turn the dislike into something more positive.

It takes energy, and there is a cost to our emotional currency to hate. And while it is frequently abused or at a minimum, misplaced, it is still a useful and sometimes necessary emotion because it defines for us the farthest boundary of our willingness to bend. I like ice cream, but I hate pistachio ice cream, therefore I will eat many, many ice cream flavors before I even consider eating pistachio.

Finally, know that hate comes with the weight of what it is. When someone hates, they carry the burden of that emotion with them. Even if they feel they deserve to hate. Perhaps they feel they have been wronged in some way or something dear has been taken from them. They feed it regularly. Small things can churn into rage which only serves to reinforce the hate. They cannot move beyond it, or resolve it so it festers as hate is prone to do.

So, what comes from this all analysis you ask? Well, people may dislike you. They may even hate you. It is also entirely possible that people don’t hate you but, they experience a level of frustration while interacting with you that they find upsetting enough for them to react the way they do to you, which you may define as hate. We are bad communicators to begin with. We are worse when feelings like hate are involved.

Your job is to understand what role you play in this particular circumstance. Ask the hard questions, but be willing to answer honestly. Are you kind? Are you rude? Are you understanding? Are you hateful yourself? Do you strive to hurt others? And so on.

Nobody is perfect. We all deserve the benefit of the doubt from others if we can honestly say that our general objective is to be the best people we can be. I’m certain the people whom you say may hate you, would want the same considerations should the tables be turned.

Lastly, you must understand that whatever hate another carries, even if directed at you, is not your responsibility to resolve. If you have taken responsibility for your own actions to the extent of your awareness, then you have done your part. The hate of another is something he or she will have to resolve on their own. It may be that they will find no way to resolve it besides extinguishing any association they have with you. That may not be ideal, but it may also be the reality. It is sad. You will likely wonder what you could have done that was so offensive to them that they chose to cut you away like that, but that is their choice. And if they hate you for no reason at all beyond the mere fact that you exist then they have many larger problems and you are better off for the distance.

Either way, in a way, such a choice is freeing in that it allows you to focus more on the things in your life that deserve your positive energy and proper attention. Should the day come that a resolution is possible, you must decide if you are open to re-establishing that relationship. If so, you must also be willing, and able, to set the past aside and move forward fresh and new.

By the way, I like you just fine.

Peace to you  – Banaba

*Editor’s note:
To read other “Something to Ponder” entries, search for Banaba at the top of the page.

Copyright © 2018 – The JEFFWORKS

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Sage advice from an elderly gentleman perched atop a lonely mountain.

Hello friends! Today our question comes from Jacques Monphree of Ely, Minnesota.

“Dear Banaba,” Jacques writes. “Why is everyone always telling me how to live my life? Am I wrong just because I don’t do what they would do, when they would do it, or how they would do it?”

To my new friend Jacques, I say simply, “You figure it out!”

But of course, that is me making very light of your question, of which I mean no harm or disrespect.

Your question is asked easily enough, but the answer can be very complex. I’m going to guess first that your saying “everyone” is an exaggeration. Of course, not everyone would be telling you how to live. You don’t know everyone and most everyone could probably care less about how you live as long as you are not hurting yourself or others…or annoying them…at a minimum.

From there I can guess that the people who feel more free about commenting on the path of your existence are those whom you have a fairly common association with, primarily friends and family and perhaps to a lesser extent, friends of friends, as they say on the Internet.

With the commentators identified, we can begin to explore the motivations behind why they do what they do. I imagine there are about three overall personalities that motivate another to make a conscious decision to address the state of your existence. There are likely others, I’m sure, but we can probably roll most things up into these three.

1. As Teacher
   As a person travels along their path, they build a collection of life experiences which can ultimately lead to a place of wisdom, knowledge and enlightenment…if they do it right. Many of us seek out these people out to try and reap the benefit of their experiences so that our own path becomes easier. They are perceived as having wisdom and are usually open to sharing. However, the good teacher is not going to tell you what you should do or how you are doing things wrong.Because they are aware that life experience and knowledge is unique to the individual and the life they lead, the good teacher provides you with the knowledge and guidance you need to learn your life lessons for yourself, as they apply to your own existence, or you would learn nothing. It would be silly for them to tell you what they did in their lives with the belief that such information will resolve issues for you.
   
2. As Protector
   An extension of one who acts like a teacher is one who plays the role of protector. These people may also be reacting to your situation based on the biases and understanding of their own life experience, though less to the point of having you learn and more to the point of directly pointing out the pitfalls they experienced – or are aware of – so that you might avoid them.Because they care for you, or believe they care for you, they are willing to share with you the cautions you should heed to live a safe, healthy and productive life. Yes, some of these are obvious. If the weather is treacherous and it is clear that you should wear the right clothes outside and you must travel with extra caution, you can expect a reminder from a protector who feels they have your best interests at heart.
3. As Meddler
   The act of being a teacher or protector in someone else’s life is a lofty and positive thing. It can create a sense of pride and accomplishment to know one can help another and generally, you want those people in your life.However, despite best intentions, some people lack the necessary qualities to fill the shoes of the more lofty roles and instead, play the part of the meddler. They will say their intent is to teach or protect, and they may often believe that to be fact. But, the way they comment, the things they say and how they say them reflect a different reality. There is a universal theory that people of today seem to have forgotten and that is, some things are better left unsaid. The meddler says them anyway. The meddler response is less about you or helping you and more about the motivations of the meddler him or herself. It could be that your actions upset them, or the things you do and say are dramatically disconnected from what they feel to be correct and true. They could try to understand, but instead, they are compelled to comment to bring things back into alignment for them.

Remember though, traits are traits, not people. You may find a good teacher or a solid protector in your life just as easily as you could find someone who is all teacher, protector and meddler wrapped in one.

When the people in our lives feel compelled to comment on what we do, we hope that they would do so from a place of understanding, empathy, grace, discretion and support. We hope that they might ask questions about what we are doing and how we are feeling over making a quick emotional, judgement about what they see and boldly preparing a response to initiate action. To nurture rather than needle. To respond in such a way is endlessly shortsighted, counterproductive and prone to creating valleys over building bridges.

And when you receive this “help”, how you respond, if you respond, should be just as conscious a decision. When someone reaches out to you for whatever reason, you can react quickly and emotionally based on what you see and feel in the moment, you could easily toss it aside, or you could consider the spirit in which you believe the help was delivered.

If you are an adult, you are in charge of your own world. Many people will have comments about the things you do, but comments are not directives or laws, they are merely something to consider. Once considered, you make your choices and boldly step forward knowing that for you, in your pool of circumstances, you are doing the right things and living the life you want to live. If you feel bad about that, then you are worrying less about what’s right for you and more about how those who comment will further react to your decisions.

The long and the short of that is, it is none of their business.

Peace to you  – Banaba

*Editor’s note:
To read other “Something to Ponder” entries, search for Banaba at the top of the page.

Copyright © 2018 – The JEFFWORKS

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Sage advice from an elderly gentleman perched atop a lonely mountain.

Hello friends! Today our question comes from Zach Rumsten of Arcata, California.

“Dear Banaba,” Zach writes, “Can’t we all just get along?”

To my new friend Zach, I say simply, “No.”

But of course, that is me kidding with you. If I’m being totally honest, the best answer I can give is a solid maybe.

You see, we have always had the skills and abilities to get along, and by we, I’m going to guess that Zach means all of us on this planet. But, despite our infinite skills and abilities, it seems we cannot all just get along. To take it one step further, it seems we are not all that interested in making it happen. So, it is not that we can’t. It is more likely that we don’t or won’t.

While that sounds bad, understand that the situation is not entirely hopeless, but our history shows there is little motivation within the human species to work for and achieve global harmony, so until the proper motivation comes, we sit in this tenuous middle ground.

Humans are animals. Despite the work we have done over the span of our evolution to grow beyond our base programing, what is in us exists and continues to prove difficult to overcome with any real permanence or global vision.

Humans have ongoing and eternal base needs like satisfying hunger and thirst, the need for shelter, the need for a sense of safety, the need for companionship, family, community, accomplishment, self-expression and so on.

On the plus side, humans generally have within them the ability to display compassion, understanding, fortitude, love, empathy, charity, a willingness to learn and grow, imagination, creativity, endurance and so on.

However, in direct conflict with those traits, we are also wired for greed and envy, pettiness, ignorance, ego, bigotry, fear, selfishness, laziness, a hunger for power or dominance, ruthlessness, revenge, hatred and so on.

The reason we cannot all get along is that we cannot reconcile, or adequately balance our positive traits with our negative traits while in the pursuit of satisfying our base needs.

It has been proven over and over that the world we live on, despite the lack of care we show for it, has the resources to adequately provide for the needs of its people, but the use, control and distribution of those resources is based on economy, not charity. So, while we could live in a world where everyone has what they need, instead, we live in a world where there is great disparity between us. You can get what you need, if you have the money or other resources to do so. If you do not have the resources…sad for you, your struggles will be great.

In this case, size and situation matters little. You can see that there are people in the world who have sought power and dominance over others by any means possible for selfish returns. And while those examples very clearly illustrate the negatives of the human animal, those same shortcomings are easily found throughout the chain of human existence from governments, to corporations, to smaller businesses and organizations, to towns and villages, to churches, to neighborhoods, to families, to individuals.

We serve ourselves first. We help others if we can, as we can, if we remember, as long as it does not diminish our position in anyway or is in anyway inconvenient. We adhere to our biases, we contort our religious doctrines to suit our purposes, we forget to forgive and forget. We fail to recognize that we often do ourselves what we curse others for. We ridicule what we don’t understand and we bully those who seem less than we are and so many things.

There are exceptions of course, and that is where hope lies. There are people who wish to, and work to, serve the greater good and put the needs of others before themselves, but there are not enough. And the ones we have cannot do all that needs to be done on their own. They need help.

It starts with simple questions like Zach’s. Can’t we all just get along? Perhaps. Maybe.

When you get to the point where you are ready to ask the question, you should also be at the point where you decide how you can answer the question in your own world. How do you live? What do you do to bring hope and harmony to your existence? What are you willing to change? Are you able to grow beyond who you think you are today?

Not easy questions and not the only questions, but if you have opened yourself up to a broader vision of a greater world, asking the questions is not enough.

Peace to you  – Banaba

*Editor’s note:
To read other “Something to Ponder” entries, search for Banaba at the top of the page.

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Sage advice from an elderly gentleman perched atop a lonely mountain.

Hello friends! Today our question comes from Ashley Chambray of Fitchburg, Massachusetts.

“Dear Banaba,” Ashley writes. “Why do people get mad at me when I’m only trying to help?”

To my new friend Ashley, I say simply, “Help is perspective, and it is subjective.”

But, I suppose that is me not being very helpful at all.

Help has been around for a long time. I have heard it said that the desire to help is part of the human condition. It’s instinctual. But as we have come to know, through conditioning, we can often override our instincts so that we act in a way that is driven more by our personal motivations and less by how we are wired.

If you feel people are reacting negatively to your help, we must explore what help you are providing, the environment in which you are providing it, and what is motivating you to act.

First, do they ask for help? That is the best indicator of whether help is needed at all.

I share with you two brief stories.

To start, there is the well-known tale of a man who came across a butterfly struggling to emerge from a cocoon. Because he could not tolerate the notion of the creature’s struggle, felt that the creature was in trouble and would be doomed without action, he decided to “help” by stepping in and releasing the creature. In this case, the creature was working through what it needed to as dictated by nature. The struggle itself is what the butterfly needed to overcome to ensure it was strong enough to survive. The butterfly was not ready to be free in that moment and the help – the man’s actions – only ensured the fate the man feared most.

In the second tale, a young woman recently moved out to be on her own, but she came back to her mother’s house regularly to bake cookies. The mother, thinking she was helping, gave the daughter a new cookie tray to bake with believing it would help make her life easier because then she would not have to make the journey back home just to bake the cookies. The daughter took the tray graciously, but it made her cry. She did not see the tray as a gift of help as much as it was a message from her mother that she did not want her to come over to bake anymore.

And, if you will indulge me, I believe another short story is in order. This time we find a teacher who is constantly telling a little boy what to do. There is nothing wrong with the boy other than he often lags behind the other children when getting things done. The teacher feels that she needs to remind him to do things so very often so as to “help” him stay on task, to “help” him keep up with the other children and to “help” keep him from getting into trouble. In his mind, the boy sees himself very much the same as all the other children, yet he feels frustrated that he is constantly singled out to do the very things he had either already done, or was on his way to doing.

So, now we wonder – who was helping who? Who really needed help? Would everything have worked out as it should without the added help?

The case of the teacher shows us that she may have pushed the boy under the guise of “help” to satisfy her own needs in the moment. The boy was capable. And aside from speed, the boy was successful. He likely did not need help. Yet, her job is to manage the class and the boy could be a hindrance – if even a small one – to her finding her own success in the way she perceived things.

If the mother was to know the real outcome of her help, that her daughter was profoundly upset by the gesture, we could guess that she would most assuredly clarify her intentions with her daughter, so the intent of her effort was effectively understood. But in the moment, the daughter was capable, she was successful, and probably did not need the help she received.

Finally, the man would have no way to communicate with the creature he encountered. He saw a situation unfolding before him and chose to act in a way that reflected the limits of his current understanding. He projected a potential danger onto the very small creature and felt compelled to do something. Was the creature in danger? Probably not. Would the creature have otherwise have been successful? Probably, short of the interference with another predator in his circle of life. Did the creature need help?

Because Ashely did not provide the specifics of what makes people mad at her when she tries to help them, we can only guess that she might be offering “help” where it is not needed or it is the kind of “help” she offers regularly, and some may say unnecessarily, to satisfy a need of her own.

Humans are generally good. They generally want to help others. But we could all benefit from understanding where help is needed most, defining what help will actually help and knowing that help is not often providing a resolution, but enough of a bridge to helping another achieve success. Most importantly, we must explore whether we are we helping those who really need it, or are we helping ourselves.

Peace to you  – Banaba

*Editor’s note:
To read other “Something to Ponder” entries, search for Banaba at the top of the page.